It's an environment where you quickly figure out if you've got what it takes to keep going or not.
When she returned home after the first three months in Belgium, her parents were shocked. She's from Nitra, 22 years old, and already working as a sous-chef (assistant head chef) in a 3-star restaurant. She was the only woman in the kitchen and led a team in an environment where you have to perform at 100% every day.
In an interview with Refresher, she said it first broke her into pieces, only to mold and strengthen her. "It's really an exhausting environment. I realized it, looking at our head chef – someone who's been in the system for years. Burned out, no personal life, constantly angry. Such exhaustion isn't sustainable in the long term, even if you love your job," she says.
Many think that in fine dining restaurants, people just "play" with food. Alexandra revealed what goes on behind the scenes in such a place, whether there's competitiveness and animosity among colleagues.
It's known that gastronomy is still more of a male environment. What's your experience?
I was the only woman among the chefs. We had an intern in the pastry department once, but otherwise, it was purely a male setting. And to some extent, I understand. There are moments when the work is really physically demanding.
But I think that's gradually changing. More women are emerging with a clear vision in gastronomy and a desire to make a mark. I already know several skilled female chefs.
How does a 22-year-old become a sous chef in a Michelin restaurant?
It's challenging, everything requires patience, discipline, and perseverance. You start from scratch, and gradually, if you work on yourself, you can climb up to higher positions. How quickly depends solely on you. But speed isn't crucial, the process is key.
Without a strong foundation, I wouldn't be where I am today. At first, you're grateful if you even get a reply. Some restaurants receive hundreds of resumes.
The second, much more important thing is what you let them see. Who you are and what your relationship to work is.
I dare say that when you truly care about what you do and give it your all, it shows in your CV. I always send a cover letter. Also, I know my Instagram showcases how much I care. I've always shared my work, and it's clear I enjoy it.
When you're already at the test phase, whether for one, two, three days, or even a week, that's where it breaks down. In foreign restaurants, they won't hire you "just like that." Testing is the norm. And during it, they observe everything. How you work, communicate, react under pressure.
Everyone has their ego, and tense situations can easily arise. I can imagine someone looking at a young girl and thinking, "What's this 22-year-old girl going to tell me?"
It's mainly about time, patience, trust, mutual respect that we have to build from the very start in any job. And last but not least, knowing to stand by your word.
I'm naturally a calm person. Yes, in gastronomy, that's more of an exception because, as you say, it's an environment full of stress and bursts of shouting.
Many colleagues have asked me how I can always keep a cool head. But peace is my strength. I don't think screaming earns you authority.
It's easy to explode, but when you stay calm and keep perspective, it works much better.
You gradually learn responsibility, primarily for yourself. As you move up through positions, you naturally gather experience. Not just professional but also personal. Communication with the team is very important. Gradually, you begin to realize how you must be if you want to be a good leader.
Have you faced such a reaction?
Not exactly, but I've been met with disrespect. When I sense it, I confront it directly. I openly ask: What are you really doing here? Are you here to give your best and grow?
Why would you be in one of the world's best restaurants if you don't have the ambition to progress? It's not just about pretty food, service, or being waited on and everything beautifully presented. To me, what's much more important is what's happening in the back – in the kitchen. There, order, organization, management, and discipline are key.
These might be small details that seem insignificant, but they make up the whole. If we left them out just because we don't feel like it or don't consider them important, we'd never reach the standard that's an absolute basic in these restaurants.
That's why I'm always trying to set the question in my mind: what is that person actually doing there? If it doesn't make sense to them and they don't want to grow, then they simply shouldn't be there.
How do you envision a good leader?
A leader must be somewhat personal. They need to learn to understand people, be empathetic, and know how to motivate them. Everyone responds to different things. If you earn your colleagues, you earn a team. That's always my priority. To be a team player. Sometimes people come to work in a bad mood. Not everyone can strictly separate personal and professional life.
Kitchen work is intense, and chefs spend a huge amount of time there. That's why it's important to have good relationships, respect, and understanding with colleagues.
Would you say it's a very competitive environment?
There are two levels to it, in my opinion. The first is systemic, depending on how the restaurant itself is set up. There are places where there's a points system or various internal competitions to motivate employees.
From what I've heard, it can sometimes stir up animosity and unnecessary rivalry.
The second level is people's character. Some people would never be malicious because they're simply good. And then there are those who are capable of doing harm deliberately.
For example?
They might throw away something you had prepared for service. I've heard various stories. Fortunately, I can say I've not faced anything extreme. Of course, work relationships can be varied.
I'm never mean or unnecessarily hard on people because I know these things are often mutual. When someone is annoying to you, the other side usually returns it, and the conflict starts escalating.
The key is to realize that it will never be perfect. Not everyone must gel as people, but we're there for work. We create something beautiful; for us, it's art.
Chefs, people in gastronomy, often work long hours even without breaks. How does it look for you?
We work from morning to night, 5 days a week. The general public doesn't realize that's our choice, to work so much. It's standard in these restaurants. Either you want it all or nothing.
All these restaurants have it contractually as voluntary overtime. What we pour into our careers now will later bear fruit, which is why we chefs commit to it. Because over time, everyone who sticks with it sees the results. I wouldn't be where I am if I didn't feel at home there.
Performance must always be at its best; there's simply no other option.
It's known that this environment is associated with drugs or alcohol. Martin Záhumenský mentioned in a 360 interview that when he worked with Ramsey in London, he couldn't afford such things. Not only wouldn't he manage five consecutive workdays, but if someone found out, they'd be immediately fired. How do you approach this?
I completely agree. All the people I knew who lived that "crazy," party life didn't last long in this environment. I'm personally not a party type, so I never had to face the dilemma of giving it up.
But those who were wilder gradually dropped out. They simply didn't have the energy and strength to operate at such a pace.
There's never an ideal 50/50 work-life balance. Sleep, rejuvenation, and clearly set priorities are crucial. Otherwise, it can't be managed long-term. You don't come to work fully rested; that's simply not possible at this pace.
It's similar to elite athletes. You're in an environment where you have to be ready to give your best. Your priorities are clearly set, and it's not about if you feel like it today or not.
They say a cobbler's children go barefoot. What's your take on food?
It's true. (laughs) Even when there's a break, you've got a million things to do, and you can't eat properly. I've always tried to find a moment to eat. I've seen that when you're hungry, you can't function.
So, I set a regime where I eat well in the morning and then again in the evening after work. Even if it's late at night, I've tried to sit down, eat calmly, and have a warm meal. That helps me regenerate and keep my energy. Mainly to eat quality, nutritionally balanced food to give my body what it needs.
Support from loved ones is very important too. I have a partner and family with whom I have a very strong bond, and maintaining contact with them is key to avoiding burnout. It takes up to six months to get used to and adapt to functioning in the long term this way.
How challenging is it to have a relationship with such a profession?
I think understanding and respect for what each partner does are key to a relationship. This work is demanding, and not everyone can comprehend it—depends on what kind of people the two of you are.
My partner does the same thing as I do. We don't live together at the moment, but the fact that we understand each other, and know each other's visions, is the foundation of our relationship. We have similar priorities and values, so no major conflicts arise between us.
Even though gastronomy in Slovakia is significantly improving, myths and prejudices about fine dining persist—especially about portion sizes and that you won't feel full. Give us a glimpse behind the scenes of such a kitchen.
Fine dining is a completely different world than a classic à la carte restaurant. It differs in concept, pace, and work system. It’s about a tasting menu with a large number of courses, and while many people think they’ll be hungry after such a dinner, the opposite is true, and they experience an intense and intricately crafted gastronomic journey.
Each course is thoroughly thought out. You can't have 100 chefs in the kitchen; the system must be efficient. Only the best who can work under pressure and consistently perform remain.
Guests often spend three to five hours in the restaurant and become part of the experience, also thanks to an open kitchen where they see the preparation process and communicate with the chefs.
The biggest misconception is that you won’t be full. The menu often has 15–30 courses; the meals are smaller so that you can explore and taste so many courses in one experience. The last course, petit fours, like chocolate pralines, sometimes gets taken home when guests can’t eat any more.
The ingredient itself is the holy grail, right?
Definitely, and we approach ingredient control extremely precisely. There's a multi-level oversight of the ingredients and the preparation process. Every morning, deliveries are checked, and if the quality doesn't meet the standard, it must be addressed immediately.
The relationship with suppliers is built on professionalism and reliability, and abroad this system functions very strictly. Foreign suppliers are incredibly professional. They can really secure almost anything for you if it's needed. In Slovakia, it's often more about whether it's available or not. And sometimes, even when it is available, it doesn’t show up in the end.
I recently stumbled upon a short video on Instagram, with a scene from a movie. A head chef threw off her apron to scold a customer because they returned the dish three times. In reality, this would never happen. How do you handle such negative requests from guests?
It's quite rare, but when such a guest appears, we usually sense from the start that it's going to be difficult communication. That's why we always have someone on the team who's calm, professional, and capable of responding thoughtfully – this person communicates with the "difficult" table.
If a guest has a negative attitude, they'll often perceive everything critically. No matter how you explain something, their viewpoint usually doesn’t change.
That's why it's important to respond calmly, professionally, and also recognize the moment when it's no longer worth discussing the situation further.
How can you recognize such a customer?
Through experience and attentiveness. Hospitality in Michelin-starred restaurants is essential and foundational for us. It's not just about nice gestures, polite and hospitable behavior, or a sincere smile. There are many small details behind it, it's complex… we notice everything just like we do positive things.
For instance, we know our regular guests, their habits, favorite dishes, ingredients, or music, and we attentively show them this during their visit so they feel even more comfortable with us.
They might get a special course on a birthday celebration from a favorite ingredient, or their favorite music plays in the background during dinner.
If we know they don't like some ingredient and it's in a dish, we swap it. The same goes for negative cues. We know based on experience what certain guest behavior hints at. We can almost immediately sense when something's not quite right. And we address it timely.
How did you discover your passion for cooking?
I never thought I'd become a chef. I come from a background where college was a given, directing me in a completely different direction. I had submitted applications to universities at home and abroad, and I got accepted to all of them.
However, my relationship with food developed from childhood. At home, meal times were special – we spent breakfasts, lunches, and dinners together. We often prepared food together, and that's where my love of cooking started. My parents valued the quality of ingredients, so food had value for us.
And where did you gain experience?
The turning point came when I started working part-time in a restaurant in my hometown. That's when I fully understood what professional gastronomy means.
After high school, I started working full-time in a fine dining restaurant, considered one of the best in Slovakia. The restaurant was named the best in Slovakia for three consecutive years. It was a huge learning experience; I was surrounded by people who gave me the space to grow and supported my drive.
Part of that journey was also joining the national team and participating in world Olympics and competitions as an individual.
Going abroad came naturally, I suppose...
The moment came when I felt I wanted to move forward and learn from the best. That's why I went to London to a three-Michelin-starred restaurant.
Even during the test, I knew I belonged there. After a few hours, I had a clear feeling that this was the direction meant to push me. If someone has a vision and works towards it, hard work pays off over time, and this step proved it for me.
What's important to me is ambition but also humility. When you have inner motivation and ambition, people notice. In the coming years, I want to spend time around the world in the best restaurants. Now, I have the energy and space to give my utmost. This journey is shaping me significantly.
