Lídia Lukáčiková on Pregnancy After Miscarriage: I Didn’t Want Fear to Consume My Happiness

One in every four pregnancies ends in miscarriage. This sad statistic shows that most of us probably know a woman who has experienced this painful loss, even if she’s never spoken about it. Despite being one of the most common human experiences, it’s still taboo in society.

Miscarriages are often spontaneous and uncontrollable. The fear left by such an experience naturally affects every subsequent attempt to have a baby. Influencer Lýdia Lukáčiková, or Lyggo as you might know her, decided to speak out about her experience. Her story isn’t just about painful loss; it’s about having the courage to be happy when women manage to get pregnant again.

Many women say that pregnancy after a miscarriage is never about “pure” joy. Lýdia, who is currently in her last trimester, confirms this: “It's definitely joy, but right behind it is stress and fear that it might happen again.” The miscarriage was a shock for her because she already has one healthy child. “Doctors concluded it was due to a faulty embryo. This is one of the most common reasons when the exact cause isn’t determined,” Lýdia explains.

The Miscarriage Happened in the Bathroom

She lost the pregnancy in the first trimester, when developing life is most vulnerable and losses are most numerous. “There’s no specific reason for the loss, so I was afraid it would happen again. The fear is still there to some extent. Every pregnant woman has fears, but after a miscarriage, it’s definitely more intense,” she says.

The miscarriage began at home with bleeding. Lýdia had to call a taxi herself to get to the emergency room. Doctors examined her and told her the fetus’ heart was beating too fast, but they couldn’t do anything about it. Combined with the bleeding, it was a sign something was wrong. In such an early stage of pregnancy, medicine is often powerless. While doctors sometimes give medications to support a pregnancy, in her case, they couldn’t get the fetus’ heart to stabilize. “It was a terrible psychological feeling, like something inside you is slowly dying. I went home in tears, knowing I couldn’t do anything,” she recalls.

The process ended naturally at home after returning from the hospital. Even though it was extremely unpleasant, Lýdia saw it as the “better” option. “It happened in the bathroom; it came out, I saw it, and I called my husband. It was something I’d never experienced. But it’s more natural than a surgical procedure in a hospital under anesthesia,” she describes. After losing the fetus at home, she had to go back to the hospital to confirm the miscarriage was complete.

Lýdia Was Surprised by How Many Women in Her Circle Had Similar Experiences

After the natural miscarriage, doctors told her they could try for another baby as soon as they felt ready. Lýdia appreciated their humane and understanding approach. While conceiving was physically possible, she needed a mental break. She didn’t feel ready right away. She turned 30, went to Copenhagen with friends, and focused on work for three-to-four months to clear her head.

Lýdia was shocked by how many women around her had experienced miscarriage. “I was surprised by how common it is. When you’re young and want a baby, you don’t think about it. But when I talked to my mom, colleagues, and friends, I found out that everyone knows someone or has gone through it themselves. That helped me realize I wasn’t alone,” she explains.

Some Miscarriages are Perceived as a Regular Period, and Women Don’t Even Know They Were Pregnant

Besides a spontaneous miscarriage in the first trimester, she also experienced a biochemical pregnancy just four months after her first miscarriage. “I got pregnant again, told my husband, and a week later I started bleeding again. Gynecologists don’t even consider it a miscarriage. Many women just think their period is late by a couple of weeks and don’t realize they were pregnant. My friends, who have two kids, have actually been pregnant maybe six or seven times. It’s a topic we don’t realize happens so often, even though it physically and mentally affects us,” she says.

The First Weeks of Her Current Pregnancy Involved Regularly Checking Her Underwear

There was naturally anxiety with the current pregnancy. Lýdia admits she would automatically check her underwear and the toilet for any blood or discharge at the beginning. “I was monitoring all symptoms. Why am I not vomiting anymore? Why don’t I notice smells? I wanted to see the doctor more often for reassurance.” While it’s said that after the first trimester, pregnancy is relatively safe, the natural fear is still there, albeit less intense.

“My nature helps me handle these things a bit better, although I got messages from many women who couldn’t get over it and were terribly scared,” says Lýdia, who, thanks to her personality, is handling her current pregnancy with more balance, even though she naturally has fears. When things get tough, conversations with women in her circle help. “While comparing yourself with others doesn’t always help, sometimes it does when you find out others felt the same way,” she explains. Her creative work and reading occupy her mind. According to her, the most important thing is a combination of work and movement.

She noticed that women after a miscarriage tend to extremely limit their activities in the next pregnancy – they stop drinking coffee, exercising, and fear going outside to avoid getting sick. “That doesn’t help the psyche. I knew I had to be okay. If there’s no medical reason, you can’t prevent a miscarriage by skipping coffee or avoiding social media. I didn’t want fear to overshadow all the joy.”

People Don’t Realize How Painful It Is

Lýdia is active on social media, but she originally didn’t plan to share her pregnancy. Eventually, she decided to share it with her audience. “I didn’t want fear to overshadow my happiness. I told myself that posting a picture on Instagram wouldn’t cause a miscarriage,” she says.

Since she had already told her followers about the unsuccessful pregnancy, she chose to tell them about this one too. “If it’s going to happen, I can’t control it. I don’t drink, smoke, or do extreme sports. I wanted to show that after a miscarriage, a happy ending can come. I wanted to share the good and the bad,” she explains her decision.

When Lýdia shared her story on Instagram, it touched thousands who learned what she went through. Along with compassionate responses, there were also offhand comments: “Nature knew why…”, “Maybe it was flawed… better it happened now than later…”, “Everything is as it should be…” Lýdia emphasizes that such words don’t help women who experienced loss and they don’t want to hear them.

Lýdia Believes It’s Important to Think About Yourself, Not Just the Baby

In this pregnancy, Lýdia consciously decided to enjoy and prepare for things gradually. Even though she’s expecting a cesarean section, she chose to focus not only on the baby but also on herself. “During the first delivery, I only thought about the baby, even if I would die from the pain. Now I’m focusing on my mental health. I want both me and the baby to be okay.”