Latex model Natália: It turns me on to be a live f*ck doll. I can turn into a completely different person

Natalia was born with a paraphilic preference for fetishism. She does not want to hide her difference, on the contrary, she makes a living as a so-called "latex model". Videos in which she performs as a live latex "f*ck doll" have found many fans on Onlyfans, as well as on other platforms.

In an interview with Refresher, the young Czech revealed what excites her the most about "dollyfication", how much she manages to earn on popular adult platforms, as well as how her closest friends and family perceive her work.

We also talked to Natalie about what makes living with paraphilia challenging. She explained to us where she finds partners with the same sexual preferences, but also why people like her can very easily become victims of sexual violence.

"More than once I've been with people who wanted to cut me with a knife and put a plastic bag over my head on a first date just because I told them I was into BDSM. People with paraphilia just become victims because a random Tinder person thinks because of their sexual preferences that they can try anything with them and they'll be open to it," Natalia recounted, adding that she narrowly escaped rape.

In Refresher we regularly bring you interviews with interesting people. Last time we interviewed, for example, Queen Unikitty, who told us about her work as a professional dominatrix, and erotic work facilitator Andy. If you like our work, support us by joining the Refresher+ club.

You shoot and create content as a latex model. Is that your full-time job?

It is now. In the past, I worked as a makeup artist and it was just a hobby. But after ten years, I stopped finding makeup fulfilling because I felt like I had tried and experienced everything in this field.

So I upgraded my hobby to a regular job. I am currently a latex model and influencer. I make money from collaborations, Onlyfans and other platforms I sell my videos on.

What does this job entail?

First of all, it's important to say that I don't do everything on my own because I would go crazy. I have to be active on social media and add content to it. I always have to come up with something new and interesting. I also correspond with hundreds of people on Onlyfans every day.

Since it's time consuming, I found a girl who takes care of my social media and helps me with ideas. I also have my editor to edit all my videos. However, writing back to followers and content schedules are still entirely up to me. To make matters worse, I'm currently starting up my e-shop.

I would sum it up by saying that it's like a classic influencer job, the only difference is that I don't only post on Instagram, but on other sites as well.

I like it when I can change into a completely different persona thanks to "dollyfication", according to my current mood.

I think your content is quite for a narrow target of people with the same sexual preferences as yours. Can you find enough subscribers to sustain you?

You're right, my target audience is very narrow, but it's more of a benefit than a drawback for me. Because there are very few creators who make as special content as I do. I'm alone in the Czech Republic and I don't know anyone from Slovakia who does something similar. The only girls I register who could compete with me are from Berlin.

There are very few special content creators, which means that if you are looking for something very specific, it's usually not for free. If you want to watch some porn of a man having sex with a vanilla girl, you'll find plenty of it on the internet, but if you want to see a latex doll with a condom catsuit doing pegging, you'll pay for it.

How much can you make in a month?

You can make a very nice living doing that. I'm not complaining. (laughs)

You refer to yourself as a latex model. But I've watched some of your videos that could easily be called porn. Isn't "porn actress" more appropriate in your case?

Feel free to call me a porn actress, I have no problem with that. However, porn actresses usually undress in front of the camera and I don't show anything in my videos. That's mostly why I say I'm a latex model, an influencer who works on Onlyfans. Let everyone imagine whatever they want under that.

When did you first discover your affection for latex?

The affection for latex in my case is closely related to the fact that I was born with a paraphilic preference. This is a minority sexual preference, which includes fetishism. I studied fashion design in high school, and since I was already close to fetishism at that time, I was naturally drawn to latex.

However, if you're asking about my career that made you discover me, the initial impetus came from my boyfriend. He was very tempted to have his own f*ck doll. We were thinking about what kind of material we could use to create such a costume. Since I had experience with latex in the past, we decided on a latex condom catsuit, which was constructed in such a way that I could not see, hear or breathe in it. So it turned me into a real live "f*ck doll".

When I started masturbating, I used to imagine I was on the guillotine and some entity was about to cut off my head.

What fascinates and turns you on about that? Can you describe to me how latex clothes and masks make you feel?

I'm really into and excited by "dollyfication", which is actually the transformation of your human self into some kind of doll or entity. I like the fact that this way I can transform myself into a completely different persona according to my current mood.

I have catsuits, for example, which are very submissive and turn me into a living "f*ck toy". Other times, when I feel like leading and in control, I can choose a more dominating outfit.

Are you a switch (a person who likes to be controlled, but also likes to control, ed.)?

I'm a sadomasochist, which means that pain and discomfort turn me on. I like to suffer, but I also like to make someone else suffer. In a very ideal scenario, the person in question is dressed in latex and I can objectify them - make them my "doll".

So I'm not explicitly submissive or dominant, I'm somewhere in between on that scale.

Dating a vanilla guy is, in my case, something similar to a gay guy dating a girl. It doesn't make sense.

I saw on your Instagram that you don't only wear latex outfits when you're in bed, but you also wear them to the store. How do passers-by react when they see you dressed like that?

They don't care. What you saw were probably photos from New York, where people are more open about it. There are so many weirdos in Times Square that you can walk around in latex and still look like the most normal person ever. At worst, you'll just fit in. (laughs)

When I walked around Prague in a similar outfit - even with a sub, I also got mostly positive reactions. People saw us more as an attraction and wanted to take pictures with us. I never encountered anyone scolding me or anything like that. At most some people looked at me with incomprehension.

On the other hand, I'm not so much of an exhibitionist that I enjoy being ogled. Whenever I decide to open up to the world like that and go among people in latex, I have to mentally prepare myself for it.

So latex is not your usual outfit?

No. It's true that I like to wear latex gloves, for example, or something that's not so blatantly obvious in the context of a game with a friend. I wear that a lot. However, I don't draw attention to myself unnecessarily with some extra provocative latex outfits.

You mentioned that you were born with a paraphilic sexual preference. How did you realise this and how old were you at the time?

I first became aware of it when I was about eleven years old - the age when children are beginning to discover their sexuality.

How did it manifest itself?

When I started masturbating, I imagined I was on the guillotine and some entity was about to cut my head off. At first, I thought it was perfectly normal. I was under the impression that everybody had it. In most porn movies, the woman is the submissive and the man is the dominant, so it didn't strike me as anything special.

Later, when I was about fifteen and started having sex, I found out that it wasn't so normal. I read a lot about it and educated myself on the subject until I finally came to the conclusion that I had a paraphilic sexual preference.

As far as paraphilia goes, all sex should start with communication about boundaries. Most people who say they have no boundaries just don't know their boundaries.

To what extent does paraphilia affect your life. Can you even imagine forming a couple with a person who prefers vanilla sex?

No. This was something I dealt with intensely when I started educating myself about paraphilia. At that time, I had been in a vanilla relationship for four years. My ex-partner was a great person, "husband material," but our relationship was not giving me anything, and therefore I could not stay in it any longer.

I couldn't be in that kind of relationship because one cannot suppress or cure paraphilia. I would liken it to orientation. You're born with it and there's nothing you can do about it. Dating a vanilla person is, in my case, something similar to a gay man dating a girl. It doesn't make sense. Of course, it's much more complicated than orientation, but the internal experiences would be similar for me in such a relationship.

How does a person with paraphilia find partners?

It's very challenging. However, there are communities that focus on BDSM where a person is able to get to know people similar to him. Great dating sites are Feeld and Fetlife. You can also meet people at various themed events such as Fetish Market, Alterno or Rope Spirit.

The tricky part is that it's unrealistic for me to go to a bar, find a random person I like and tell myself that I'll be good with them. I almost certainly won't get along with him because he's not a paraphilic like me.

Even though I have a partner, we live in non-monogamy, so I'm dating anyway. When I'm looking for someone, I mainly use the aforementioned dating sites. I would hardly find someone with the same sexual preferences in a bar, and I live in Prague. I can't even imagine what I would do if I lived in a smaller city. (laughs)

You say you live in non-monogamy. Does that mean you have an open relationship?

Think of it as a classic relationship, except we can both date and have sex with whoever we want. With other sexual partners we only bond on a physical level, it can never escalate into emotions. We have to cut off any "romance" before we become attached to the person. We are just a couple, but every now and then we also have fun with someone random who we like.

Of course, this requires very open communication. Neither of us can do whatever we want, but we make decisions together. If my partner doesn't like someone I'm seeing, he'll tell me and ask me not to see them anymore.

 

One time a guy tried to put a plastic bag over my head. He took me in a tie to make me choke and pass out. It was on our first date.

How do those closest to you feel about your work? Do your parents and friends know you're doing latex modeling?

Everybody knows. Thankfully, I have very open-minded people around me, especially my parents. I'm sure they'll be reading this interview too. All the podcasts I've been on, they've listened to. We communicate very openly with each other, both about my work and about my sexuality and non-monogamy.

My parents as well as my friends are supportive of what I'm doing. My hobby was even perceived positively by my clients back when I was still a make-up artist. Truthfully, I don't face any stigma in real life. Only on social networks. Personally, all people are sweet to me, at most they are just curious.

How safe is paraphilia and when does it become dangerous?

That very much depends on what kind of paraphilia you have. I mentioned that I like pain and I like inflicting it on others. In this case, it can definitely be dangerous because initially you have some limits that shift over time.

Personally, I remember telling myself at first that I would never try strangling myself into fainting. However, I got to the point where I tried it. Now I have to look for and guard the line that I don't cross. I mean, yes, it can be dangerous, and it's dangerous from a dating perspective as well.

More than once I've had random sex with people who wanted to cut me with a knife and put a plastic bag over my head on a first date just because I told them I was into BDSM. I met these people on Tinder and since they were outside the community, they couldn't figure out how to set boundaries. That's why people who have paraphilia should be educated themselves and know what's okay and what's not anymore.

That is to say, one has to think carefully about what one is doing and not just go impulsively after what turns one on.As far as paraphilia is concerned, all sex should start with communication about boundaries. Most people who say they have no boundaries just don't know their boundaries.

If a guy tells me he has no boundaries, I'm going to pierce his penis and lock him in the basement for a week where he'll only drink my urine. But he's not experienced enough to even imagine that the term paraphilia can hide something like that.

You recalled an unpleasant experience on Tinder. Can you describe in more detail what happened to you?

Once a guy tried to put a plastic bag over my head so that I would choke and faint. It was on our first date. Even though I do all these things, I do them with people I trust and know can give me first aid. Certainly not with a random person and certainly not on a first date.

Then again, a few years ago, I ran into a man who knew about my paraphilia, so he figured he'd cuff me on his bed and pull a knife on me. The worst part is that these are not the only two cases. I was almost raped once, so it's really no joke.

I don't think I'm the only one experiencing something like this. When a girl doesn't set boundaries, she can very easily end up being abused. People with paraphilia just become victims because a random Tinder person, because of their sexual preferences, thinks they can try anything with them and will be open to it. That's why they already test the boundaries on the first date. And it doesn't have to be just girls, a woman can calmly rape a submissive boy.

In an earlier interview, you recalled experiencing a gangbag with six unknown men, during which you were a living "fuck doll". You couldn't see anything, you couldn't talk, and thus it would have been difficult to defend yourself in an emergency somehow. Wasn't it dangerous?It was very dangerous. However, I had thought it through in detail and my partner was there the whole time to keep an eye on me. I was wearing a condom catsiute and only my nostrils were exposed so that I could breathe. I had condoms in my mouth and other body holes, which were part of the catsuit, so the men only penetrated me through them. So from an STD point of view, it was the safest sex.

It was especially dangerous in that if I orally satisfied someone, he could inadvertently plug my nostrils and I would suffocate. That's why my partner was there to monitor it and warn the person if necessary. This was because these were men who were not from the community, were not experienced enough and could have hurt me by their inattention. They were random guys, I liked them, they didn't behave inappropriately and that's why we chose them.

And what would you do if something makes you uncomfortable and your partner doesn't notice? As a living f*ck doll, blindfolded and gagged, you probably can't communicate much.

There are not only verbal clues, but non-verbal ones as well. For example, one can clap, tap one's sexual partner, or simply shake one's head disapprovingly.

I would like to saysomething in conclusion?I would like to say to people who are reading this interview and feel that they have a paraphilia, not to repress it. Be yourself, because it's fun. Life is meant to be enjoyed, not lived in fear of what someone will think of us.