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Tímea Krauszová
November 3, 2022, 6:00pm
Reading time: 6:36

What Was Your First Sex Like? Our Readers Told Us About Their Experiences. It Is Far From What They Have Heard Or Seen In Movies

We asked our readers what their first sexual experience was like.

Tímea Krauszová
November 3, 2022, 6:00pm
Reading time: 6:36
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What Was Your First Sex Like? Our Readers Told Us About Their Experiences. It Is Far From What They Have Heard Or Seen In Movies
Zdroj: Unsplash/Claudia van Zyl
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What was your first sex like? We asked our readers this question on Instagram and we didn't have to wait long for the answers. We talked to them about embarrassment, protection and the fact that we just cannot believe the movies.

They told us their feelings about their first sex: some didn't know what to do, for others it lasted such short time that they don't even have an opinion, they just smile. Some admitted that their first sex confirmed that they were gay, and since then, they "didn't never look back" at the opposite sex.

For the most part, readers were divided into two groups: those who had exaggerated expectations and experienced unsatisfactory, short and awkward sex, and those whose expectations were exceeded by the experience and it was surprisingly pleasant. "We were drunk, neither of us knew what to do. Actually, I don't even know by what miracle we finished it," Patrik shrugged his shoulders in response.


Martina, on the other hand, does not like to think about her first sex. It was short, but it wasn't just about that. She lacked foreplay, they didn't even use lubricant, so the experience was unpleasant for her, and she remembers the guy as "disgusting". On the contrary, other girls contacted us saying that their dream of experiencing the first sex for love came true and it was passable or even surprisingly pleasant.

Kika was one such example. “I've heard all kinds of horror stories, so I was shocked that it didn't even hurt.” Her words were echoed by several girls. They emphasize that they did not bleed, it did not hurt, or they only experienced a slight prick or pinch, but nothing insurmountable. They regret that they received this information in a distorted way and had unnecessary worries.



Much ado about nothing

Although they both knew it was coming, our reader Jano delayed his first sex as much as possible. He was very nervous. When sex finally happened, it was Jano who insisted on using protection. He asked the editors to change his name, he does not want anyone to recognize him. "She said it wasn't necessary, but I was responsible."


But they hadn't talked about using protection or what sex meant to either of them before. "Nothing reminiscent of an adult as a conversation took place. It wasn't even a serious relationship, I can't even remember her last name."


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However, he describes the sex itself as "quite boring". He says that it did not meet his expectations. "It was nothing fun or interesting. In this regard it was a classic first sex experience with a quick end," he says with laughter. "The friends pretended it was the coolest thing, it looked pretty good on TV, they enjoyed it in porn. But in reality it's two confused bodies, comically figuring out what goes where." According to him, it's normal. "The first sex is always so uninteresting. At least I don't know anyone who had good first sex."

He says that he did not experience an explosion of emotions, rather he perceived it as having finally crossed the imaginary line. In high school, he felt peer pressure - "boys want to get it over with as soon as possible, because it's cool". He was 16 or 17 years old, and when he looks back at it now, he would like to tell young guys not to rush unnecessarily.


Rada Mikšík, relationship and sex education lecturer at the Society for Planned Parenthood, also identifies with his message. "It is not enough to meet the age limit of 15 years for the first sex, it is important to be ready or prepared from the psychological and emotional side as well. I need to know what I'm going into, know my values, not give in to pressure, know who I want to be with and why."


However, especially during her lessons, she tells young people to set realistic expectations. They shouldn't be guided by other people's experiences or what they see in porn. "It can help, for example, to think in advance how I want to feel and what I need to do for that."

Does it count even without penetration?

Marek hesitates when asked about his first sex. He considers his first intimacy to be a more interesting story than the first penetration itself - he experienced both with the same girlfriend, years later they are still together and making love. Due to the openness with which he described his experiences to us, we also respect his request to remain anonymous and use a pseudonym.

At the time, they were both teenagers in high school. They were walking around the city at dusk. “We dated for about a month or two, and I started to feel like it needed something more intimate than just kissing. However, since we both still lived with our parents, it was more complicated." Originally, he was only supposed to accompany his girlfriend home, but he says that things were very hot between them and they felt sexual tension. “When we said out loud that we would like to move it somewhere, if you know what I mean.” We all know what he meant.

Since they were in the city, they wandered among the garages in the neighborhood. One of them happened to be open. To their own surprise, Marek proposed this and his girlfriend approved it as a place for their first more intimate affections. "Of course, she was stressed. Me too, but I tried not to show it and to calm her down. So we moved to a completely foreign garage of a completely unknown person. If he happened to see us there half-naked, I have no idea how we would explain it to him. And I can't even imagine what we would do in the middle of the act if the electronic door on the garage accidentally started closing and we were stuck in it until morning."


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After about 15 minutes of pleasure and, according to Marek, his most erotic experience thus far, they quickly got dressed and ran away. "Today, after several years of relationship, we just laugh about it, and if I happen to pass by the garage we made unholy, I always say to myself: it was worth it!" Marek thinks that this experience has changed a lot, although there was no penetration. "We began to trust each other even more, the relationship became deeper and more serious. It was a big deal for us."

The fact that society usually considers the penetration of the penis into the vagina as the first sex is the result of the myth about the hymen, Rada Mikšík told us. "Such a perception of first sex is very heteronormative and excludes people who have their first sexual experience with a person of the same sex. Their sexual experience is equally valid." According to the lecturer, everyone can define for themselves what their first sex means. It can be penetration, but also oral satisfaction, mutual masturbation or other activities. The basis of each of them is consent.


Full of tenderness and patience

Some people remember their "first time" fondly and with a smile. Gabi experienced her first sex with her first love. However, at that time they were no longer dating, it was about two years after the breakup, after which they became best friends.

It was this dimension of their relationship that deepened the whole experience, Gabi talks about her first time as practically perfect. "We were 16 years old, he already had some experience. That day we went to a party and after returning home we lay together in each other's arms. Then it just happened. We kissed, caressed. I experienced the longest foreplay of my life.”

She says that although the penetration itself did not last long, the sex was full of tenderness and patience. He was constantly making sure that everything was okay, so that she felt safe. It didn't hurt, she describes it more like a pinch, and it was bloodless. "I remember the whole night with a smile and love." Their friendship did not spoil the experience, and Gabi is glad to have experienced it with a person she trusts completely.


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The first time after the wedding

Paulína and her husband waited until the wedding to have their first sex. Today, she says with a laugh that their first love experience was more of a disappointment than a pleasure. "If I'd done it before I got married, I'd probably be celibate forever," she jokes. She doesn't mean it, she says that today sex brings joy to both of them, and the key to good sex is that the couple knows how to communicate with each other.

The expectations she had before the wedding were not fulfilled. She thinks they weren't even realistic. "In my opinion, the way the first sex is presented in the movies is very exaggerated."

Even from conversations with other people, he feels that the first sex is not as bombastic as it can appear in the media and stories. Although they talked openly about sex before marriage with their partner, it still took them a while to find common ground. "I explain it in the way that it's simply a skill that you have to somehow acquire with time and effort." That's why they didn't give up after the infamous first time. For Paulína, physical touch is very important and she said that everything improved with some practice.

She was right. "That's why I think it's a pretty bad argument for trying sex before marriage that you might not like someone." She says that if partners have respect for each other, everything can be solved and improved through communication. Also through experience.


Practical and communication skills during sexual activities can be gradually improved. People should gain sexual experience according to their own values and not under the pressure of the environment.



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Thumbnail: Unsplash/Claudia van Zyl
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